Sunday, 9/13
Veronica wanted to go out to eat for our Last Supper. Her and I met at Red Robin, which is one of my faves. I had my standard crispy chicken sandwich and fries, all dunked in ranch. She had some monstrous salad thing, in which a fly flew in after one bite. Don't worry, she got a new one. Not only was Red Robin totally on point, Veronica got me the sweetest gift.
A totally supportive card and a new Alex and Ani bracelet, with an awesome meaning. I had posted the pic on Facebook, but since I was still keeping the whole thing pretty hush, I put the box over the message that she wrote. I love her so much and am so glad that she's my best friend. I'm sad to lose a small part of the addiction that holds us together, but now it can be replaced with new, healthy addictions. 
After Veronica and I were done with lunch, I met my mom at the movies to see No Escape. I paired this up nicely with a big bucket of popcorn and a large Icee. So good. I had already seen the movie, but it was so awesome, I didn't mind seeing it a second time. Edge of your seat shit, right there. Came home, didn't eat any more that night.
Monday, 9/14
I worked a normal day. Busy and hectic, stayed a little late, but overall normal. I was trying to get as much done as possible before I'm off. Then Ryan and I met at Juan Miguel's for our Last Supper. It was perfect, much like Red Robin. I had my normal chips and salsa, chicken burrito and rice dinner.
Afterwards, we went to Orange Leaf and got froyo for the last time in a long time. We came home and ate our froyo and just cuddled in bed. It was such a nice and chill night. It was perfect.
Tuesday, 9/15
I was a total wreck the whole way to work. I was crying and just couldn't pull it together, even with 3 Xanax. I got to work and was pretty touchy for about an hour, then just got down to business and ignored the anxiety. Today starts the liquid diet. I had brought some chicken broth with protein with me to work, and had a protein shake in the morning. I thought I would have a really difficult time with this, but I was so busy at work, that it was totally sufficient and I didn't even think about it. When I got home, I had some more broth and some 7-Up. I finished packing my hospital bag, and got into bed.
Wednesday, 9/16 - surgery day
The alarms went off, and Ryan and I got up and started getting ready to leave. Needless to say, my anxiety was ridiculously high again, and 2 Xanax didn't even touch it. I said goodbye to the dogs, and we left. I talked to Jon and Veronica on the way up, and was crying the whole time. I finally had to stop and just focus on my day. When they registered me at the hospital, I was tearful and whimpering. They took me into pre-op, where I had to get into this really weird gown. A nurse came in and washed me from neck to vag with a warm towel and antibacterial solution. My blood pressure was really high. I saw the nurse aid look at the nurse (all trying to keep it from me) who said, "Take it again in a minute, talk to her." So she started asking me if I had kids, pets, etc. I told her about the four dogs. This calmed me down. She took my BP again, and it was high, but not like before. Then it was sort of a blur. One nurse put in the IV for me. I remember all my nurses in pre-op being very nice. Then Ryan came back. I had to pee. Then they took me to the OR. Part of me wanted to grab onto Ryan and never let go. I wasn't going without him, and if he couldn't go, then maybe this wasn't for me. They took me to a pre-op holding area because they weren't ready for me quite yet in the OR. This is where I met with the anesthesiologist, and they cleared me for some Versed. They didn't give me enough to feel loopy, which was troubling to me. Also, if they're not ready for me in the OR, why can't I be spending this time with Ryan? After about 20 minutes, they wheeled me into the OR. I had to get onto another bed while they positioned me, and was pretty awake for that part. I asked if I was going to be catheterized, because I had been told in the pre-op classes that I would be. The nurses assured me I would not. I was very happy for this! Then I woke up. Barely. I briefly remember someone telling me that it was over. Then back out. Then someone told me they were working on my transfer. Back out. Then someone told me they were transferring me to my room. I didn't even open my eyes. I got up to my room, and had to pee. I barely remember this, but two nurses took me into the bathroom and sat me down on the toilet. They shut the door and I hung out in there for a while. I was practically asleep on the toilet. I finally forced myself up. I walked back into my room and got in bed. They attached this things to my legs to constantly squeeze them. This is a way to prevent blood clots. I barely remember the rest of the day. I was in and out of sleep. Ryan went home around 8. I barely even remember him being there.
Thursday, 9/17 - post op day 1
I woke up to a doctor in my room. He was asking how I was doing and feeling, etc. A lot of this seems like a blur. Nurses were in and out, taking my vitals, giving my meds, etc. Someone from radiology came to get me so I could have my esophagram done. They had me drink some barium and did an x-ray to make sure there were no leaks in the stomach. Once I was cleared, I was able to go back to my room and have some water! This was a glorious feeling. Someone from dietary came in and got my food order. I took a shower down the hall from my room. This was a strange area. It was inside the Therapy Room, so right outside the bathroom door, people were having physical therapy done. Sort of strange, but it got the job done. A shower felt so great!!! I brushed my teeth, got dressed, and headed back. Then my food came. I was nervous to eat, I didn't know how my stomach would react.
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| Mmmmmmmmmmm |
Charlie and Emilee came to see me. I was so glad to see them. They had come to the hospital the day before and were in the waiting room with Ryan. This was so good for Ryan, because he was worried and alone. They stayed the whole time until I was transferred and then left, so even though they saw me, I never actually saw them. So they came up and we hung out for a while. Then my nurse came in and gave me my meds. I was sitting in the recliner, holding the emesis basin up to my mouth, because the pain meds made me pretty nauseous. After a while, I fell asleep and dropped the emesis basin, which woke me up. I had only passed out for a second, but Charlie and Emi took that as their cue to leave. I took that as my cue to take a nap.
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| Card from my Grandpa, middle flowers from Veronica, right flowers from Charlie, Glen, Emi and Madi <3 |
I woke up and waited for Ryan to get there. I couldn't WAIT to see him. He got there and took the recliner while I climbed in bed. I slept on and off while he was there. He stayed for about 3 hours, and worked on the laptop. He walked the halls with me a little bit, then got me situated in bed again. Ugh, that was the other thing, the bed. I could not get comfortable in this thing at all. I ended up sleeping in the recliner most of that night and throughout the next day. I couldn't lay on my side at all, and even with the bed reclined back only a little bit, it was just the worst.
Friday, 9/18 - post op day 2
I slept in the recliner, and woke up at about 5am. The morning was pretty much the same as the day before. I took a shower, had breakfast, walked around, lounged in the recliner. I didn't walk nearly as much as I should have, though. At this point in time, I hadn't farted since Wednesday morning, and I was starting to feel it, hard. I felt so bloated and gigantic, plus there was so much pressure, I was hurting. My nurse was so sweet, but I was about to punch her if she told me I had to keep walking. It hurt to walk. It hurt to sit. Everything hurt! Get this gas out of me! They discharged me around 4:30 that afternoon. Ryan was there, packed up all my stuff, and we went home. The drive home was a lot more difficult than I thought. I reclined my seat a little and held a pillow. Every shake and bump, I could feel.
After I got home and got situated, my mom came over and hung out for a little bit. Then around 7, I was in bed, propped up and just chillin' out. Sleeping was a lot harder than I thought it would be. I still couldn't sleep on my side, and I felt like I couldn't breathe on my back, so I basically slept sitting up against the headboard. I was awake every two hours, and getting out of bed was hard.
The next day, my mom and Grandpa came over and hung out for a while. That was nice. I had farted, finally, the night before, so I was feeling a little better overall.
So here we are. Every day is a little different, and I'm still getting used to things. The hospital discharged me with no heartburn medication, so yesterday, with every sip I took of anything, including water, sent my stomach into small 1-2 second long spasms that were so severe, I would end up squeezing Ryan's arm or clawing at the table. I called the doctor and they called me in some meds. Today is much better. Ryan and I went for a long walk, and the spasms are still there, but not as frequent or severe. I haven't really been sleeping in the bed at all. I've mostly been sleeping in the chair in the bedroom, with my feet on the ottoman. I still can't lay on my side. I'm hoping tomorrow night will be the night. I hate sleeping alone!
I'm down almost 6 lbs already.
Here's to the future.
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